Part Three: 1 Timothy 4:12 - Love

1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” "Holiness is a spark from thy love kindled into a flame by thy Spirit, and so it ever turns to the place from which it comes. Let me see thy love everywhere, not only in the cross, but in the fellowship of believers and in the world around me. When I feel the warmth of the sun may I praise thee who art the Sun of righteousness with healing power. When I feel the tender rain may I think of the gospel showers that water my soul. When I walk by the riverside may I praise thee for that stream that makes the eternal city glad, and washes white my robes that I may have the right to the tree of life. Thy infinite love is a mystery of mysteries, and my eternal rest lies in the eternal enjoyment of it.” From The Valley of Vision – Love. “May I grow in thy love and manifest it to mankind.” From The Valley of Vision – Christian Love. Love comes in many different shapes and forms. In fact, the Greek has several different words for the one word we use to describe our “love” of potato chips, family, friends, husband/wife, movies etc. Eros: (passionate love, with sensual desire and longing) We can be an example in this kind of love by acting in purity, and treating young men like brothers, and young ladies like sisters, as Paul tells Timothy: "Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2 I think that one of the best examples that I know of a godly love in this area would have to be my friends Jesse and Jessica Aiduk. Jesse came to our church from another church to serve us by doing community outreaches (etc.) with several other young adults, including his older sister, in the summer of 2005. It was there that he met Jessica. Unfortunately for me, my family began going to that church several months after their first meeting, but I wish I could have been there, though it would not have seemed significant at the time. In fact, though, after a while, in Jesse’s heart, Jessica became significant to him, he never let on throughout their whole friendship that he was growing to love her, in an effort to guard her heart. As Jessica put it at a breakfast date she had with me, “He was my ‘student’ for over a year, and I never knew it.” And, to her, that was a blessing. He wanted nothing to get in the way of her growth in godliness, and her pursuit of Him. He also didn’t want emotions to get in the way of her other friendships, until he was sure it was the right time, and they were both ready. So they were just friends – no one thinking more of their relationship than a brother and sister. In fact, it could have stayed that way, and they would both still be glorifying God for their friendship, because wisdom was used there. But then, last year, about this time, Jesse asked Jessica (after gaining her father’s permission) to court her. And, after praying about it, Jessica said yes. Their courtship story inspired me, and I wrote this poem for them, which was read at their wedding – in July 2007 – (after I added the last verse as a surprise): Jesse and Jessica ~ 2007 By Tai Sophia Polczynski A little baby girl was born - She filled her house with joy, But little did she dream then: That God was preparing her a baby boy. * * * He lived in Massachusetts, She – many miles away… But little did either dream then: That God would bring them together one day. * * * The years seemed to rush right by; He grew up straight and tall, Her hair grew long – her eyes grew bright, And, before long, they each answered God's call. * * * Of course they sinned and made mistakes, But God was always there To dry their tears and bind their wounds And protect them in his care. * * * And sometimes she would wonder If her dreams would ever come true -and, if they would, then how? And when? …but Jesus knew. * * * And sometimes he would wonder If "she" was out there now… And if she was – where was she? Would he know her when he saw her? How? * * * Though she and he could only see -one at a time- each small step align, God could see all of each of their paths And how they'd intertwine. * * * So they met one summer day When he came to serve her church. And, though they may not have known it just then, They had both come to the end of their search. * * * Just friends they were for quite some time, And golden days were those… But then came the day, when he asked at last And, after much prayer – she chose. * * * The things they couldn't understand before Now seemed to all make sense! God's timing had been perfect, his guidance sure, And this pure love had sprung from their obedience. * * * Now exchanging rings, and vows, and love, you stand On this day that will never come again And, one day you'll joyfully recount, as you hold your child's hand: "Look at what God did then!" We can be examples in this area as we act in purity and genuine love for one another, and consider, before we do or say something if it will be serving the other person, or just our selfishness…and you may want to consider, “What if that person’s future husband/wife was sitting next to them right now?” “Love” for a person of the opposite sex can’t truly be love until it is backed up with commitment. Besides, you want someone to love your character as much - actually MORE than they love your looks. Philia (Philos): (friendship) " A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17 God has given us friends to grow us, to encourage us, to be tools of sanctification in our lives, and to remind us ever of God and his amazing grace (ok…and to have fun with, too…;). We in turn, are to be these things for others. A true friend encourages and points out evidences of grace in others’ lives. A true friend doesn’t let other friends just wallow blindly in sin, but helps them to see where they are slipping, and reminds them that God is there to help them change. A true friend follows the leading of the Holy Spirit in interactions with fellow believers. A true friend invites correction and the input of others. A true friend strives after humility, knowing that they are sinners like the rest. A true friend seeks to serve instead of continually being served. A true friend likes to listen as much – if not more – than talking. I realize that we will never be perfect at this whole friendship business – and many a time will come when we will mess up, blush over our words, realize how foolish our actions were etc. Time after time I’ve come home after being at a friend’s house, only now realizing how silly I must have seemed, or how foolishly I acted/spoke. Thankfully for us, God gives us second chances. I need them. Friends are not only those people at church or school, but they should also be those dear people whom God has sovereignly brought us into the world with, and whom we daily do life together with: Our family. Before we can be friends with others, I think we must first learn how to appreciate our very own families for who they are. My parents told me that once, years ago, and I thought it was silly. “Friends are…well…friends.” I thought, “And my family, I’m just stuck with.” Now I know that is not true. Perfect or imperfect as your family may be, God has placed you with them for a reason…and if you can’t get along with them, how can you expect to be able to Philos anyone else? When others see the way we put others above ourselves, and seek to humbly serve, they will be drawn to the only one who is the Truest Friend. (And one more thing…about “cliques”. You know – the people you always hang out with. Well, it is wonderful to cultivate those friendships, but don’t forget to keep a watchful eye out for those who need someone to talk to – those people not usually in your little “circles”.) Agape: (love - unconditional love) I don’t think any human can ever fully understand this type of love. It is the love that made Jesus Christ come to earth as a man, and, taking all of our sins on himself, dying a sinner’s death, though he was perfect. It is the love that looks on us – filthy, ragged, desperately wicked sinners – and sees us in clean linen, covered by the blood of The Lamb. We can be an example to others as we marvel at this love, which we cannot ever fully attain apart from God’s grace, and as we marvel, we share it with those around us. "For God SO LOVED the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 It can be, in some small way, manifested in parent’s love for their children – a love that would scale mountains and cross oceans for them - , and also in the love of such heroes of the faith as Adoniram Judson, Mary Slessor, Jim Elliot and others. It could be a glimpse into this kind of love that made the men on the “unsinkable” Titanic stay aboard the ship as it indeed did sink on April 14, 1912, letting the women escape to safety in the insufficient number of lifeboats - one of the greatest acts of chivalry we have seen…and one of the last. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 May we be examples of the power of Christ's unconditional love to the world.