Why Do I Cry?

I recently started going through the book of Job in my Bible times. Why? Something in it caught my attention while I was looking up verses on contentment. I think that "something" was God's display of power and knowledge and love laid out on paper; a finite glimpse into the never-ending, awe-inspiring depths of God's might. Something else caught my attention too, and is found in this verse: "...Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21b It made me think. Job had the right view of things - no wonder God was so "proud" of him! After houses falling on top of our children; and all of our servants, donkeys, sheep, and camels being killed...how many of us would have that trusting of a response? It seems to me that we have a tendency to make things seem way worse than they really are - once viewed in light of eternity. That probably comes naturally with the mindset that earthly possessions are our main source of happiness. That should not be so - and yet, it so often is. So many times we can be tempted to cling onto something that God is gently trying to pry away from us - for our good - or, our lives can suddenly be altered, and we feel helpless, out of control, and even angry at God. We can desire to yell up at God, "No! You can't take that!" "That's MY job - I need that!" "That's MY uncle!" "It's MY problem if I want to gape at that guy, or grin at that girl." "I need the security of being loved." "I need my own home." "That's MY dream of becoming a world-renowned psychologist!" "I need to be healthy." "Those are MY friends." "How can you be a loving God and let that lady suffer from cancer? You don't know what you're doing - do you?!" But the truth is: God is completely and totally in control of every circumstance...and, though we often can only see a very short distance, God sees all of the wonderful things he will bring out of this situation, and - if we bear it with dignity, joy, and confidence in Him - all of the lives it will touch. We may cry - he made us to be emotional people for a reason - but we must let Him dry our tears. Why does God allow bad things to happen? Well, for one thing, to grow us in character, to draw us closer to Him, and to move us on to a new season He has for our lives. But honestly, I don't know. Do you? Can anyone pretend to understand the depths of God's workings? We are just human...sinful by nature...and, honestly, whatever happens, we deserve worse, but for the grace God gives to us. "For you say, 'My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in God's eyes.' But oh, that God would speak and open his lips to you, and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom! For he is manifold in understanding. Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves." Job 11:4 God can test the hearts of humans with trials, and he can restore abundance like he did for Job. But, whatever he does, our response (easier to say than do, I may add) when trials come, or when our earthly treasures abound, should be: Blessed be the name of the Lord! He has us in his hands. We also should admit that we really don't know everything...or even CLOSE to everything...but God controls the very air that we breathe, the depths of the earth...and he created the ground we walk on. "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." Job 42:2-3 Trust in God's plans when you are worried, lonely, or scared. I have learned (and am still learning), as I look back on my life, I see the fingerprints of God most clearly on those things which seemed, at the time, to be so "unbearable". Things which made no sense. Things which hurt people I love. Things which tore me away from friends...from everything I was familiar with. But now I can say that I am glad. With each tear falling on my pillow, I have grown closer to God, as he bends down to wipe them away. He looks into my eyes. I don't understand it, but I am loved...more deeply than any human can explain. Why do I cry? I don't know...but it is true that often, God seems closest when he lifts up my head and wipes my tears away. And gold is refined by the fire. (Matthew 10:29-31)