Reflections on a Tuesday Afternoon - GUEST POST

Note: Remember that my new blog is: www.beggarlybouquet.com. We have fixed the issues that it previously had and is now search able on google etc, plus you can add it to your Google Reader account if you have one. This will likely be one of the last posts I put on this blog for a while (*sniff*), though I almost don't want to give it up. I think you will enjoy the new one just as much - if not better, though. :) -~-~- Reflections on a Tuesday Afternoon by Margaret H. My alarm went off. I rolled over and saw “5:01am” flashing back at me in bright red numbers. “Ugh!” I murmured to myself and reached out to switch the button to “off.” I swung my feet over the side of the bed and shivered as they slapped against the cold floor. I looked around; someone coughed and I shivered again. This wasn’t exactly my idea of a mission trip, getting up at this ungodly hour for a dunking in the Atlantic Ocean. I shuffled sleepy-eyed into the bathroom, not really eager to fish out of the toilet boil either. I stood in the shower, trying to gather the courage to do what had to be done. I stepped under the shower-head for a split second and lost my breath. My teeth chattered and I could feel my face turning purple as I shampooed my hair. “Okay God, what is it now? Why am I here? I love Ecuador, but something isn’t right this time. What are you trying to tell me?” -- “Margaret! Welcome home! How was your trip?” I honestly dread this question. As a public speaker, I know that’s a terrible thing to say. But I can’t hide the truth. How can I explain a life-changing experience in thirty seconds or less to the casual inquirer? I can’t; it’s just impossible. But I still have to answer that question. I learned a lot in Ecuador; I’m still learning a lot. Like a cow chewing his cud, I keep going over the trip in mind, retrieving a new gem every time I do. -- “I’m sorry miss, but airport guidelines state that all liquids in carry-on luggage must be contained in three ounce bottles; your hair gel is in a five ounce bottle.” She continued looking. “I’m sorry miss, but you can’t take this coca-cola either; no glass is allowed on the plane.” I sighed. “Oh and miss, you must drink this water or you can’t take the water bottle on the plane.” I drank the water. She smiled a bit too smugly and handed me my backpack. I glared back at her and walked over to Jodi. “So, what did she take?” You should have seen me. I jerked off my jacket and sun glasses, yanked off my backpack, pulled out my Nalgene water bottle and threw them all on the floor. I sat down, cradled my head in my hands and just sobbed like a little baby. Believe me, people stared and pointed. But I didn’t care. “Just get me home, God, please!” I begged. I was sick; bronchitis was settling in, I was losing my voice, running a high fever, delirious and just exhausted. My body cried “Bed! Water! Sleep! A hug, someone?” but this Delta Agent was telling me I couldn’t have my coke? Something was wrong with this picture; really wrong. I lay down on the chairs and shivered. “I hate fevers!” I grumbled to myself and just closed my eyes with the pinched, painful face that said “kill me now!” -- What had happened to me? Just twenty-four hours earlier I had been in tears; but those were different tears. I cried as we drove back to Quito through the Andes Mountains on The Pan American Highway. “God this is where my heart is! Why do I have to leave? Why can’t I stay? God, bring me back, please! I thought this was where you wanted me.” Have you ever had a God moment? Where He pours His version of tobacco sauce into your heart and you just kneel down and sigh and say “Okay, okay I still believe.” I learned to be content in Ecuador. I thrive on the “something more” to life. I’m a socialite and am always looking for a new version of life; something to make my blood race. I’m always looking over someone’s shoulder, thinking “Oh wow, that looks like fun! Why can’t I be there?” In fact, that’s my line. Why? But you don’t see that question in Ecuador; the people are content. You know, you can’t really begin to fathom their poverty. You really can’t even begin to imagine how they live until you’ve gone and seen it for yourself. They are poor. But they are content. How is that possible? They have nothing. They have no money and they scrap the bottom of the barrel for life. But they’re always smiling. They’re always hospitable. They’re always kind. They just go about their daily business and keep on keeping on when life seems to throw them lemon after lemon. I don’t have that kind of fortitude. I don’t have that kind of contentment; the kind that makes you smile even when life isn’t smiling at you. The kind of contentment that… well, just gives you peace and calms that yearning for more. Sure, the Ecuadorians have struggles of their own. They are not perfect and I’m sure they struggle with the same sinful tendencies that you and I do. But as a culture… they’re much more content and peaceful that America is and perhaps ever will be. Their hospitality and graciousness left a deep mark on me. Can I be content with the small things in life: a lollipop, a hot wheels car, a new scrunchie or a piece of chalk? Can I keep going when it gets tough? Can I be content in any circumstance? Can I stop wanting more? and then furthermore... can I let go of myself? I feel like I hang on to so much and so many people... is He enough for me? “Margaret, this is where I’ve called you to be. This is your place, right here, in Franklin Pennsylvania. Come be the best sister… Come be the best daughter…. Come be the best friend that you could possibly be. Come serve me right and here and now on April 8th. Come live for me. Stop wanting more. I am your all; I’m everything you need. You’re written on the palm of my hand and I love you. Come love me too.” I felt my spirit fighting. “But! But God I don’t want to do that! You know where I want to be.” “Margaret, have you forgotten? He who is faithful in the small things… to Him I will give greater things.” -- That was my lesson. Contentment. I fought it that Monday night in Quito. I cried. I fought it the whole trip coming home. I fought it even at home. My spirit was restless. But God got through to me; He is faithful, isn’t He? How was this trip life changing? A life of discontentment… of searching for “more”…. Turned upside down into a passion for Him and for where He has me. That’s how. Are you content? Or are you looking for more? Sure, there other lessons too.. Like surviving on three hours of sleep instead of thirteen… or sleeping on tree slat beds instead of my foot thick mattress… or eating guinea pig instead of KFC’s chicken fingers. You get the idea, don’t you? Just reflections… from one little girl… about her Daddy… on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon. Here’s to being content, me and you. Starting right now. -Margaret

Lessons from Jonah - Part Two

God used Jonah to warn the people of Nineveh of their coming destruction - if they would not repent and turn from their evil ways. Jonah felt in his heart that the people of Nineveh deserved whatever punishment they would get…but when God chose not to punish the Ninevites at all, Jonah felt that He -GOD - was making a mistake! “When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it.” Jonah 3:10 Jonah got angry and said he’d rather die than live (um…pity-party?). The Lord simply asked him, “Do you do well to be angry?” twice (vs. 4, 9). He didn’t argue with Jonah that His way was best, or try to prove that his way was better (it already was - Jonah just had to wake up and realize that)…he let Jonah think it through. When things don’t go our way getting angry is definitely not the answer. Anger does not help us in any way. Our hearts should be humbly submitted to God’s will - understanding that His ways are always true and right (easier said than done, I know), despite what we can see in our limited view that may look like we are going out of control. Often, when looking OUT for our own interests, we forget to look AROUND at God’s glory, and his hands which always hold us up. So, back to Jonah. He went to the edge of the city, and decided to sit and wait to see if God would re-consider and punish the Ninevites. As silly as he was, God still had compassion on him, and made a plant to grow up to shade Jonah ad provide comfort as he sat there. And, just as quickly, God took it away. (vs. 6-7) He the scorching sun to beat down on Jonah and make him faint…and it’s here that Jonah again says he’d rather die than live without the plant that he did nothing to make grow, and yet, he felt that he deserved somehow. In the same way, God can provide times of “shade” from the scorching heat of this world, he can provide comfort amidst the chaos…and he can also take it away (he IS God) and test us - to see how we will react when the heat is turned on. Do we have pity-parties when God takes away that which we think we deserve? Or can we trust that He has a better plan than we could ever dream up on our own? Do we resist his will, or submit to it - even if it doesn’t make complete sense to us? As Job put it, when he was tested in a way that not many people are (he lost pretty much everything except his wife in a short period of time “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’ ” Job 1:20-21 Now, we never really are told if Jonah ever “got it” or not…but we can at least learn from this book what perhaps Jonah missed. Oh that we would have the faith of Job to worship God through the trials and times when we can’t understand what He is doing…and trust that God knows best! ~Lady Tai (Next up: Another GUEST POST! Stay tuned.)

Lessons from Jonah - Part One

“Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, ‘Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.’ But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord. But the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship threatened to break up. Then the mariners were afraid, and each cried out to his god. And they hurled the cargo that was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them. But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep. So the captain came and said to him, ‘What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call out to your god! Perhaps the god will give a thought to us, that we may not perish.’ ” Jonah 1:1-6 This first chapter of the book of Jonah is all about God’s calling to Jonah to tell the people of Nineveh about the ways in which they were sinning - and giving them a call to repentance - and how Jonah chose to run in the opposite direction instead; trying to run away from the presence of the Lord. But as far as he made it, God still pursued him. God then (mercifully) gave Jonah a chance to re-think what he had been doing…and in Chapter 2, Jonah calls out to God from within the “great fish” with something that sounds like a Psalm, and the fish then vomits Jonah onto the dry land (what FUN!). The greatest joy we can receive in this life is to walk in the way that God has for us to go in…and if we attempt to run away from that and/or force our OWN wills, that deepest joy will elude us…and we will be lost. Looking for something that we can’t explain. That something being God’s own plan - which we’ve chosen to ignore. The beautiful thing is that, if we find ourselves having wandered away from what God has called us to, we can still cry out to Him from a pure heart…a heart of true repentance. When we do, God will hear us, and answer us - though it may not be in the way we expect. “When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple. Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the Lord!” Jonah 2:7-9 This is not to say that we should deliberately rebel against God all the time and just expect that, since He is merciful, he will forgive us. God is righteous…he is just. He gives grace, but he must also punish sin. Paul deals with this issue in Romans 6. “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. ” Romans 6:1-4 When we become Christians, we are to walk in “newness of life”. To live differently from the way the world lives…to obey God and trust God. Wherever He leads.

Update

Update on technical difficulties: It is now possible to load the new blog (www.beggarlybouquet.com) into Google Reader! However, it is still not possible to search for the site. My sidekick is still working on that...but I don't think it will be necessary to update you on that. Just be content in knowing that Google Reader now recognizes it. :D ~Lady Tai (And I'm hoping my next update will be a REAL post!)

Technical Difficulties

You may or may not have noticed: but we were having trouble with some things on the technical side of the new blog. Including things that made it impossible to add to Google Reader lists and which also made it not search-able on google.com (or most other search sites). My trusty sidekick is working now to fix these issues. SO, if you were wondering about any of that - now you know. And if not; so sorry to interrupt your bliss. :P I will let you know when this is fixed so that those of you with Google Reader or a similar program (if there is one) can use it and add www.beggerlybouquet.com to your list. And trust me, I know y'all are out there. Muahahahaha! ~Lady Tai

The Unveiling

"Laadddieesss and Gentlemennnnn..." Introducing the shiny-NEW blog of Lady Tai, now open for public viewing! It is not 100% completed, but I figured that I could always work on it more AFTER unveiling it. I have merely transferred all of my posts from this blog to that (now conveniently organized by category), plus one - the new welcoming post. I thought about making you hunt for it in cyberspace - but that probably wouldn't be so cool to some of you (most of you). So I'm just going to put it out in the open - the web address/link to my NEW site (or you can just click on the picture above). PLEASE be sure to bookmark it and add it to your Google Reader list (or whatever you do)! Here it is: www.beggarlybouquet.com Leave me a comment there if you think of it! ~Lady Tai

Update

Well, my friends. Here's the "inside look" at what's goin' on: I've got a new web address for my blog PLUS a new name. So, instead of being a blogger site, it's going to be my own ".com". :) Thanks to Eric Novak for helpin' me with that. We've got most of the layout done...but not quite. However, as soon as it is "good enough" to present to the public, I will let you know where to find this new secret place which is now only lurking out there on the web with no prestige and no history to prove itself by. It's just a brand-new site with tons of potential. :D Soon...very soon... ~Lady Tai

My Lack

I am sorry to keep leaving you, my faithful readers hanging for the past couple of weeks...but I have been thinking and praying about possibly renaming my blog (some of you may be asking what could possibly be so important about THAT...more to follow). That would mean I would have to have a new web address...which means you might have to re-bookmark me, or re-add me to your google Reader list, but I hope it will be worth it. There will be a new look AND a new name. I am still pondering over several choices...so bear with me. If you have any ideas, feel free to comment with them. Otherwise...I suggest a look through some of my older posts - why not start at the beginning and work your way back, if you're new? Thank you SOO much for stopping by. Come back! Oh...and leave me a comment if you think of it. I love comments. It's almost like getting "real" mail...almost. More like a package, actually. ;) haha Annywayyyy... I am also working on another project which I MAY post some pictures of when it's done. Muahahahaha! Here is a quote to last you until my next post: "A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." Charles Spurgeon ~Lady Tai